part I. His plans are good.

Hi my name is Ashley I'm 22 and I freak out when I don't have a plan or a to-do list in hand. That's my confession.  that addiction is often a place that He prods and moves, in a way that I can't fight it.


Take it back a month or so... I found out I was not going to be in Lubbock for the summer. yep, I'm really leavin LBK in may, leaving my family, beautiful community and what I've known as life for 4 years.  some new grads came and gave us the spill on how to tackle studying for our BIG board exam. I still have no idea what I'm doing in December. Moving back home may have some not so fun situations, too close to painful places in my heart. so I mean really who wants to face all that? not me!! especially with no to-do list or plan. so I didn't face it. I just shut off, threw up some walls real quick with all the concrete and hardness that was harboring in my heart. and every time I went to His presence there was all that scary stuff staring me straight in the face, the hardness of my heart weighing heavy and that scar I thought was healed obviously had busted open through the make shift bandage. so I put the walls up even higher and was sure to separate me from every opening, even the opening to His refuge. dumb, I know, but truth.

I was stuck in my apathy with no agenda, no plan and no clue what to do. I finally looked up to see the walls I had built and knew I would never feel safe in those walls. His presence was my only hope for refuge. I broke down right along with those walls. Thankful that He is faithful when I am unfaithful. And a 6 hour drive home would do the rest of the clean-up.

As I drove home facing all those new scary changes, there was one thing that resonated in my heart- His plans are good. No matter what my life may look like in 2 months, 12 months. no matter who is possibly in my hometown when I get there- His plans are good. even if it's painful and scary- His plans are good. My heart began to soften. I found peace, rest.

May you know His peace and rest, because our God is sovereign and His plans are absolutely good. He is perfect in all His ways and He will never let you go.